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Love Lessons Testimonials
Because of the intimate nature of these notes, they are presented anonymously. They were signed by the senders.
"The Imago Education classes in "Creating the Love You Want" offered as adult education at my church and facilitated by Linda Bazan and Don Gibbon have changed my life. The seemingly same old story of relationships and how to make them better is all new for me this time. I wish I had learned about it before age 60!
I think the most valuable tool that Linda and Don have taught me to use is that of finding a way to validate my partner's behavior in light of his experience, instead of castigating him for behaving in ways I perceive as designed to hurt me. Somehow, when I am curious about and respect his perspective, I don't feel as threatened, and his behaviors no longer seem to be mean. I am free to see things my own way, but also accept him as a person, even if we aren't in agreement.
With our lessened need to protect (and keep from each other) what we hold most dear---consciously or not--- we feel safe and we have more fun together. This is how it works. There is much more to learn, but after a few months of this training, I feel that our marriage is on solid ground and will get better as we each feel loved and honored in more ways than we ever imagined."
- MRK, Squirrel Hill
"My husband and I feel that the Love Lessons workshop is the best thing that we have ever done for our marriage. In the past year, we had discussed separating and seemed unable to work out our marital issues on our own. Previous experiences in marriage counseling and individual therapy had helped somewhat, but didn't seem to have a last effect on the deeper issues in our relationship. We felt we were spinning our wheels and not making any significant changes in the negative ways we related to each other. After 25 years of marriage, with a young child, we were desperate to preserve what we do have and, hopefully, find ways to make each other happy.
We feel the Imago approach gave us a "handle" on our relationship, with specific communication tools to diffuse anger and reactivity and focus on our partner's needs. The emphasis on exploring childhood relationships as a way of understanding our current relationship with a spouse has been very valuable. We are a product of our pasts, but we can choose to re-write the future by understanding, rather than resenting, our partner's differences, and empathize with their point of view. We have a long way to go in improving our relationship, but the best thing about Love Lessons is that it has given us hope for the future of our marriage"
- JF, Shadyside
I want to express my high regard for one of the most appreciated series of classes offered at the First Unitarian Church in Shadyside this past fall and winter. The series was entitled "Love Lessons" (Parts I and II), presented by Linda Bazan, Ph.D, and her husband, Donald Gibbon. The basis for the work is Imago, which is a style of relating that comes from Dr. Harville Hendrix, highly successful founder of the movement and author of the best-selling books Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Have. The method is sound and forms the basis for Hendrix's Institute for Relationship Therapy in New York.
Linda Bazan and Donald Gibbon are a couple who have trained extensively in Imago techniques. . Linda brings a wealth of experience from her private practice as a psychotherapist and Donald is a skilled presenter and group processor. Together they provide an accessible model of how individuals and couples can use this method in their own relational lives. In fact, one definitive strength of their presentation is that they admit to being living examples of how using Imago techniques can save a marriage.
Both Linda and Don are warm, affirming class leaders who understand the importance of making a safe space for full participation. Classes include times for didactic presentation, free group interaction, video illustration, case study and couple interactive exercises.
Beyond the basics of classroom rubrics, Bazan and Gibbon come with more of a sense of mission. That is, they want to offer a way of finding goodness, love and peace in relationships that can effectively enhance intimate relationships and marriages, transform personal obstacles to communication and growth, and make the world a better place. In my view, this is what makes
this class compatible with the mission of the church as a beacon of hope for the community.
I unhesitatingly recommend these two skilled and devoted persons with the insights and wisdom they bring.
- Rev. Maurine C. Waun, D.Min.
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